It seems kind of cliche to say a good relationship must communicate to be successful. I’ve experienced in life where I have been reluctant to say what is on my mind. The shyness, in my opinion is a product of my past. I’m confident that for most all of us, there have been times when as children we would share something and were scolded, put, down, and even yelled at for saying what was on our mind, not meaning any harm in what it was we were saying.
I was maybe ten years old, my family was on vacation in Indiana. We were visiting a family that was extremely close to our parents. In Indiana, they have basements, something that homes in California don’t have. This home had a wonderful game room downstairs, the room had a pool and table tennis table. For a ten-year old it was the best room ever! The basement had rather plain wooden stairs. In my mind, I decided to give the room and our host family a compliment. I said, “these stairs don’t give the room justice.” My brother dan who was 19, (nine years older than me) quickly and strongly shushed me. I never forgot that. To this day I feel, I said something terribly wrong. I was happy and wanting to add a compliment. Suddenly rather than giving a compliment, I had done something horribly wrong and insulting to my parents best friends. To this day I’m reluctant to say something without considering how it might be received, and would I get in trouble for saying whatever it is I’m considering saying.
I have developed a fear of fully expressing myself. I have a fear that I’ll be rejected for stating my thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. I have a fear of rejection.
If you are shopping for a home, a fear of expressing your thoughts, opinions, and beliefs is a recipe for disaster. You may end up buying the wrong house! You may waste time looking for the type of property you have no intention of buying. You may be opening yourself up for relationship problems.
When you experience and use the Crystallization process you won’t have this problem. The Crystallization process is a process that ALL my clients go through prior to seriously looking for their dream home. The process does exactly what the name implies, it makes it crystal clear what type of home you are looking for. At the end of the process, you and your significant other will be clear on what you BOTH are looking for in a home. What needs to be shared, will be shared. The inclination to hold back will be broken, and clear communication of what type of home you desire will be communicated.
With clear communication, you won’t waste time looking for the wrong type of property. You will avoid the catastrophic possibility of buying the wrong house. And, you will not have unclear communication be a catalyst for arguments and more with your loved ones. You will find and buy the perfect home for both of you.
For more information on the Crystallization process, please see the video on the subject in this blog or widow sections of this website, dklhomes.com, or call, text, or email to schedule a Buyer Empowerment consultation.
David Kline Lovett
NextHome First Choice (your choice) Realty
I’m Here For You!
To me, there is not a whole lot more important than your word! In business and real estate as it is in any relationship it is of upmost importance if one desires to keep that relationship and have it be workable.
Your word in my world is more than just saying or doing what you said you would do. Why not go even farther than to honor your word? Honoring your word is a matter of integrity. Integrity is a structure like the structure of the engineering of a bridge. If the integrity or structure of a bridge is not whole, eventually the bridge will no longer work.
How can one go further with your integrity or word, by following the tenants below:
I learned the following from a personal and professional development and training company called Landmark. (see the page under interests of David)
- You can do what you said you would do. Honor your word.
- Do what it is you know to do.
- You can do what one would expect you to do.
- Do what needs to be done.
- You can do complete work.
This is all above and beyond what one may think is good enough. What if one lived in a world where good enough, wasn’t good enough? What if one lived in a world where their word was more than that? Would real estate be a whole lot easier? Would entering into a relationship with a real estate agent be more productive, simpler, and easy? Would there be more closed sales? Would life be more the way it ought to be?
I say YES.
David Kline Lovett NextHome First Choice (your choice) Realty
Osho an amazing spiritual teacher, gave a talk about Fake News? Or Fake You’s?. Osho spoke about how our political system is based on lies. These politicians or liars are unfortunately rewarded and elected for the lies. They are really if ever authentically themselves.
We in society are rewarded and trained to lie. When we are children, we are told to love our mother. Society doesn’t wait for our love to come naturally. We are encouraged and feel forced to fake it. It is our duty to love our mother. We then pretend, smile, and act loving toward her. We are fake, inauthentic, we wear different masks like this in all areas of our life. We forget how to be natural. If we are in a room with our boss, we show the boss a smiling face. In that same room, at that same time, we show an entirely different face to the waiter.
Even the word personality means persona, a persona is defined as a role or character adopted by an author or an actor. We are trained by society to adopt different masks all the time. We have a different face for almost every situation, encounter, and conversation. We get so we don’t even know who we really are
There is a second you that Ohso talks about, one that Freud taught. The unconscious you, the you of our dreams, the you that comes out when you are drunk. This you is far more authentic than the fake you that bends to every conversation. There is a third you, a Divine you, a you of pure awareness, authentic and real. You can find it by slowing down, taking the mask off, by being vulnerable. You can find this real authentic you when we meditate.
Real estate works best when you are authentic, when you take off your masks. To buy, sell, or invest, to interact with buyers, sellers, agents, lenders, and escrows, it works best to just be you! Life works when you do you! The best way to discover the authentic you is to slow down, sit down, and meditate. The most productive thing you can do to live in your dream home is NOTHING. And, that is no FAKE news.
Should a real estate agent or for that matter should anyone have a system. A Realtor is an independent contractor, and is by definition by being independent is without a system. In my 34 years of experience as someone who didn’t have a system, I believed not having a system was one of the greatest benefits to being a real estate agent. An agent has the ability to do whatever they want to do when they want to do it.
The definition of a system is (a set of things working together as part of a mechanism working together or an interconnecting network). Another way of looking at it is having a plan of action, knowing what it is one will be doing from day to day. Having been a licensed real estate agent for 34 years, I can tell you most all realtors work without a system. In my opinion, it is like working on a circus aerial act without a net. It’s not a good idea and sooner or later, someone is going to get hurt.
The mechanism or interconnecting network of a real estate business doesn’t work as well without a plan or system. I was fortunate to meet and learn from Gina and Kirby Ellis, owners of Next Level Real Estate Academy https://nextlevelrealestateacademy.com. I have been in their training for a year and a half. The best and most unique real estate training I have encountered. There is a saying, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I’m living proof that you can. For the first time, my business has a system. I know exactly what I’m doing, how to do it, and when to do it. It has made my business so much more efficient and productive.
The System that Gina and Kirby teach is great for me, and even better for my clients. My buyers actually save thousands of dollars when they buy, and the sellers I work with make thousands more when they sell! They know when I’m calling them and even what I’m going to ask them. My clients have a specific target date set for their closings. They know exactly what to do to save and make the thousands more. They learn and know the eight departments we travel together to navigate through their real estate journey.
Once you go on a system-You will never go back…Try it you’ll like it…There is no Question!
That’s all I got to say about that!
David Kline Lovett NextHome First Choice (your choice) Realty
I’m Here For You!